I am doing a different kind of post today, mainly because I know a lot of people can relate and also because this will help me vent which is similar to writing my thoughts down in a journal.
Recently, I have learned a lot about who a true friend is. In a time of my life where it should be nothing but happiness and positivity, I have found that some people just aren’t happy for me or my situation (getting married). Not necessary that they aren’t happy for me (because I’m sure they are..even just a little) but that they are so unhappy with themselves that they have no time to be happy for their friends. Instead, while I was in the middle of planning one of the happiest days of my life, I was also consumed in so much negativity. I’m not going into details, because I am not about to spread detailed personal business on the internet, but I wanted to focus on my emotions through all this.
For those who know me, I am the type of person that wants to make everyone happy even if I am sacrificing my own happiness. I would consider myself a loyal friend until I am pushed over the line. That is just what happened in this case. I was so hopeful to help a friend in need that I involved Bryan and friends to help me only to be lied to and hurt by a person I thought cared for me as a friend. My life was stressful and I was becoming negative and depressed myself. The only things that kept me from losing my sh*t was the support of Bryan and good friends. I would look at how blessed I am to have such a wonderful relationship and wonderful friendships that I realized those are the types of people I needed to surround myself with. Positive people that support my decisions and celebrate life’s journeys.
What I am thankful for most, is that because of this situation I was able to connect with people that I had grown up with and make them a part of my big day. I had people that wanted to celebrate this time in my life and leave their own personal drama aside. These are the people who truly care about me and support me. All I can say for those who are struggling with the same thing as me is, do the things that seem the hardest to do. Let go when you need to let go. Your happiness is the most important thing and no one should be able to take that away from you. Keep the people around you who are positive and support the person that you are trying to become. You cannot help people that don’t want to be helped, so if you have tried several times then chances are they will never change and you are risking your happiness (and sanity). You should be selfish every now and then. You do not get to experience life twice, so live your life how you want with the people you want to live it with. Your friends that love you will follow in your life’s journeys just as you will follow in theirs.
Thanks for letting me vent ❤ Britt